'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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