I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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