we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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