Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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