Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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