We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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