Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
