My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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