What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
