Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
