Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
