She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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