I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
