I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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