my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
where are my eyebrows?
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