DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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