? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
