My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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