Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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