well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
