How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
