i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
