I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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