So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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