i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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