at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize