Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
