Hey man sorry I got all grabby
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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