I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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