Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
