I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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