Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
