I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
