My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize