Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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