You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
