The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My vagina is officially offended.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
