I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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