I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
