The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
