dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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