It's like God shit irony all over that family
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
