I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
