im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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