chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
