And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
