Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize