Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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