ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
