I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
