I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
