Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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