So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
