Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
