It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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