Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize