I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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