There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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