I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
