tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
