hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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