he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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