You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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